February 11, 2012

Different Sides

I've been wanting to write this post for a few days but every time I sit down to write, the words have escaped me. The situation upset me so greatly that I had to remove myself from it, and it has taken every ounce of strength to stay removed.

It began with a friend of my husband who posted a photograph on Facebook. A very heated debate ensued regarding the picture, and at one point, another person who joined the conversation told me, "I'm sorry that you have to go through this." in reference to my husband fighting what he called"an illegal war". Those comments stopped me for a second, and then it made my blood rage. I was shocked, angry, and hurt.

I know why my husband is goes to war. I know why he fights. I make it my business to know. But I am not sorry. I am proud of what my family does for our nation. I love my husband, and I love my country. I'm proud that we choose to serve something greater than ourselves. I realize that not everyone has the courage or the strength to do it. I would not trade one single day of it, nor would I choose any other life. It's true that deployments are incredibly difficult. But I certainly don't feel sorry for myself, and I don't need anyone else to feel sorry for me either. For someone to say something like that to me is insulting beyond all reason.

In a conversation I had with my husband not too long ago, he said that Americans don't care about this war. I didn't want to believe it, but in this case his statement rings true. I have been part of this life for long enough that it's easy for me to forget not everyone is affected by this war. Especially when my entire existence hinges on it. And especially when I live in a military community. There are people out there who walk down the street and don't spend one second thinking about this war, or the men and women who fight it. They don't think of the families that make that sacrifice. There are people who can go days, or weeks without giving it a care. For many it's become nothing more than a political poker chip. It's so easy to read and educate yourself on what is happening over there or just make yourself aware. I guess it's just easier for some to sit in a nice warm office, and pass judgement without knowledge.

This encounter made me angry and sad. Not only for myself, but for the utter ignorance of this person and the fact that there are more out there just like him. But even when ignorance like his spews over me and tries to taint the life I've built with my husband, my soldier, the life I love, I will never be sorry.


  1. Well said and HOW many times have I been in your shoes!! The lack of understanding ... oh my, I have few words for it - few decent words, at least.

    Poker Chip is right. I usually say pawns. That's when I get straight up angry, when they are used for negotiating bills in congress. Ugh!

    And Like you, I understand the battle he fights and I am NOT sorry. I am sorry that people do not understand.

  2. I've really been enjoying reading your blog and have found it interesting, however I do have a comment about something you said: "I'm proud that we choose to serve something greater than ourselves." You don't serve. You are not active duty, you are a civilian, you didn't choose to serve. I find it highly offensive that you have implied that you serve just because you are married to someone who does.

    1. Thank you for your comment Sticksandstones! Please see today's blog for my response!