It's nearly impossible for me to sit down at my computer and write when I have a lot to say especially when most of what I want to say I can't talk about for security reasons, and to protect the privacy of the people involved.
A lot has happened in the past few weeks, not all of it was good. And as ashamed and embarrassed as I am to say it, it's really forced me to hit the pause button. It's unfortunate that a series of difficult events is what it takes for some of us to stop and just be grateful for what we have. I don't mean to be a major downer, and I of all people should know better, but sometimes we get so caught up in the mundane that we forget, or get too busy to really take a look, evaluate our lives and our circumstances. I've spent a lot of time in the last several weeks playing the "would've, could've, should've" game, thanking God, and just plain appreciating my life, and my family, and all that we have. The things I have to "complain" about at the moment, pale in comparison. . .
Once again we have a hurricane headed toward Okinawa. At the moment, this one is forecast to be nearly a direct hit at a Category 3 or 4 according to wunderground.com. I ventured out this afternoon to replenish our nonperishable food supply in the event that our power goes out, and pick up a few extra supplies. The line for the checkout at the commissary was ridiculous. Insane. I've never seen it that bad anywhere we've lived. When it was finally our turn, my total came to around $280.00. Two hundred, eighty dollars is way, way over our usual weekly grocery bill, but we'd also bought our storm supplies in addition to our usual groceries, so I paid it without batting an eyelash.
While the cashier was processing my payment and printing up my receipt, a sense of humility came over me. (This has been happening to me a lot lately) I realized how lucky I am to be able to just go to the store, buy everything we need, and pay for it all without even having to worry about it. Things were not always this way for me and my husband. Especially when we were first married. There are a lot of military families, and American families in general, that don't have that luxury. And I realized again how blissfully normal my life really is. Or as normal as it can be for the family of an active duty soldier, And of course then I thought about those whose lives will never be this blissfully normal again. . .
I've been making a serious effort not to needlessly complain about stupid, unimportant crap. I may joke occasionally, or at times have a legitimate ailment. Sure this typhoon is going to be a huge pain, especially if we lose power, but really in the grand scheme of things, it's a minor annoyance. I DO have food in my house. I DO have a house that will keep us safe from the storm. My children ARE healthy. My amazing husband IS alive and uninjured. In my opinion there really isn't much else that matters.
Those who know me personally, know that I am loud-mouthed, opinionated, and likely certifiably crazy, so I probably won't be able to stop playing the "would've, could've, should've" game for a while. It's just the way my mind works through the tough stuff. But this, all of this, has forced even me to shut up for a bit, reboot, and put life into perspective again.